Life is not complicated

Life is not complicated. It’s just how we make it!!

Every step we go for, every decision we make and every chance we take teaches us so much. We learn lessons out of all of it. Don’t sit back and cry if something unpredictable is happening.

As I always say, highs and lows are there to make us strong.

Complicated is usually just undecided

I have noticed something about the times my own life felt impossibly complicated. Almost always, the complication was not in the situation. It was in the fact that I already knew what I had to do and was avoiding doing it.

The situation itself was usually brutally simple. Leave the thing. Say the sentence. Stop waiting for the person to change. One line, no ambiguity.

But saying it out loud meant losing something, so instead I turned it over and over, found new angles, discussed it endlessly with anyone who would listen, and called all of that thinking. It was not thinking. It was a very sophisticated way of stalling, and it felt productive right up until nothing had changed six months later.

That is what most complication is. Not a problem with too many moving parts. A decision wearing a disguise.

Nobody is coming to carry this

You will hurt only YOURSELF if you stop trying. People will come and console you once or twice. Some of them mean it. Most of them have their own week to get through and will have moved on by Thursday, and that is not cruelty. That is just how everyone’s attention works, including yours.

So you have to make YOURSELF strong. Think positive. Smile if you find yourself in trouble. Analyse the situation, then react - in that order, because reacting first and analysing afterwards is how a small problem becomes a large one.

Go with the gut feeling. It is not magic. It is usually your own experience, arriving faster than your reasoning can keep up with.

Remember: if you have made yourself strong in your mind, then trust me, nothing can defeat you. I repeat, NOTHING!!

The part about not looking back

As I said earlier, never regret your decisions, because they teach you something.

I want to be honest about this one, because “no regrets” is easy to say and almost nobody manages it. You will look back. Everyone does, usually at 2am, usually at the one decision you would give anything to redo.

What you actually get to choose is how long you stay there.

The looking back is not the problem. The living back there is. There is a version of a person who reviews an old choice, learns the thing, and closes it. And there is a version who is still, years later, running the same evening on a loop and calling it reflection. Same memory, two completely different lives.

And not everyone is in your life to please you and make you happy, after all. Some people are there to teach you exactly one lesson, and once it is delivered they leave. That is not a failure of the relationship. That was the whole assignment.

Love yourself, because at the end of it, it is all about YOU.

Just trust yourself so that no one can break you or make you weak.

Life is simple. You make choices and you don’t look back.

One question

If you want a shortcut through most complication, there is one question that does the work.

What am I avoiding?

Not what is the problem, not what are the options - those keep you in the analysis, which is where the avoiding is happening. Just: what is the thing I already know I need to do and have been carefully not doing?

The answer usually arrives in under three seconds, which tells you it was never hidden. It was just unwelcome.

Everything after that is easier, because now you are dealing with something real instead of a fog you built to stand in.

-Kashish