Me & My Overthinking Brain: It’s Complicated

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.

And no, not a cute elephant sipping iced coffee in the corner wearing a party hat (though I wish). I mean the loud, invisible one I’ve been dragging around in my head for days.

Overthinking.

That buzzing voice that turns everyday moments into emotional chaos. The one that sneaks in at the most random times - brushing your teeth, tying your hair - and suddenly you’re re-analysing a conversation from two years ago as if it just happened.

This post isn’t structured. It’s not polished. Just me, showing up with a full, messy brain.

When my brain won’t stop

Lately my mind has been LOUD. Not the creative kind of loud. The anxious, paranoid, “did they mean ‘ok’ or OKAY?” kind of loud.

It’s exhausting. I’ll walk away from a completely normal chat and then spiral:

“Was I too much?” “Did I overshare?” “Should I text and clarify?” “Was that pause… weird?”

Then I’m replaying tone, expressions and silences. Like I’m solving a mystery that doesn’t exist.

And the cruel part is how convincing it feels. It doesn’t present itself as anxiety. It presents itself as being thorough. As caring enough to check. Every loop feels like the responsible thing to do, which is exactly why it is so hard to stop mid-spiral - you’d have to accept that all that careful work was producing nothing.

But maybe it’s not just anxiety

Here’s what I’ve learned. My overthinking isn’t here to ruin me. It’s trying to protect me.

Somewhere along the way I got hurt - maybe for being too open, too honest, too soft. So now my brain over-analyses everything, just in case. It’s not weakness. It’s survival.

But yes, it is also exhausting. And a guard that never goes off duty stops being protection and becomes the thing you need protecting from.

Guilt, loops and kindness

You overthink. You know it’s irrational. You still can’t stop. So now you’re anxious and angry at yourself for being anxious. Classic double spiral.

But I’ve been learning to ask myself gently: “What am I actually afraid of here?”

Usually it’s the fear of being misunderstood. Or of not being enough. Or of being left behind. Naming it doesn’t fix it, but it softens the spiral, because a named fear is a specific size and an unnamed one is infinite.

We overthink because we care

Some of the most emotionally aware people I know overthink constantly. Because they care. About how they show up. About how other people feel.

It’s messy. It’s also real. It means we’re present. It means we’re human.

What helps me through it

When I’m spiralling, here’s what I turn to:

• Cooking something warm and simple - therapy in a pan
• Dancing like no one’s watching (because no one should)
• Cleaning or organising - outer calm brings inner calm
• Music, loud and unapologetic
• Voice notes, to a friend or just to myself
• Doodling, journaling, rearranging my space

What they have in common, I’ve realised, is that they all involve the body. Hands, movement, sound, mess. Nothing on that list is a thought.

That’s not a coincidence. You cannot out-think an overthinking brain - trying just gives it more material. You have to go around it, through something physical, and let the mind quieten because it has been given something else to do.

These aren’t solutions. They’re ways to hold myself through the noise.

Final words

If you’re caught in a loop. If your brain won’t stop picking at things. If you’ve read and re-read that one text ten times - please know you’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not “too much.”

You’re just someone who feels. And that’s something to be proud of.

No fixes here. Just one overthinker holding space for another. Take care of your beautiful, chaotic mind. It’s trying. So are you.

Stay soft. Stay grounded. Stay… positively yours. 💛

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