The fault lies in us, not in the stars!!

Our fate is tied to the position of the stars - or so we like to say. But the position most of us are actually standing in is one we chose, not one that was handed down by something out of our control.

Remember: the “fault” lies in us, not in the “stars.”

If something is going wrong, trust me, it usually has nothing to do with fate. Blaming bad choices on fate is a comfortable way of avoiding a harder conversation with yourself.

Shakespeare put it best in Julius Caesar: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” Four hundred years later it still stings, which is usually the sign that something is true.

If something bad is happening to us, it is often not the result of fate. It is there because somewhere along the way we did something that led to it. We made a mistake in the past that created trouble later. Blaming it on fate is of no use.

Never say it is not in your fate. We all make our own fate.

Where I would soften this now

I wrote this in a fairly absolute mood, and I want to add something, because the idea has a sharp edge that can cut the wrong person.

Not everything is your fault. Some things genuinely are luck - where you were born, who your parents were, an illness, an economy, a person who behaved badly in a way you could not have predicted. Telling someone in that position that they built their own circumstances is not empowering. It is just cruel with a motivational font.

So the honest version is narrower, and better: fate sets the starting position; it does not make the moves.

You did not choose the hand. You do choose how it is played, and that is the part worth spending your attention on, because it is the only part that responds to effort.

The quote that gets it right

John Green wrote: “You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.”

That is the whole idea in one line. The thing is there. You are not pretending it isn’t. What you are refusing to hand over is the power.

Whatever is happening around you, it is not simply fate. In some cases fate genuinely is not on someone’s side and they still manage to do better than most of us. No matter how good or bad the hand is, it is in our hands whether we make something of it.

If a person is born with every advantage and puts in no effort for the rest of his life, trust me, he will not go far. Hard work matters at least as much as fortune.

So whether good or bad is happening around you, it is in your hands whether to give it the power to destroy you or to make the best of it.

Don’t be afraid to take a step forward.

Just do it, and the world will adjust.

Why it is worth believing anyway

There is one more reason to hold this view, and it has nothing to do with whether it is metaphysically correct.

If you believe your life is decided by fate, there is nothing to do. The belief itself removes every option, and it does so regardless of whether it happens to be true.

If you believe your choices matter, you look for the choice. Sometimes you find one and it changes things. Sometimes you don’t, and you have lost nothing by looking.

One of those beliefs costs you everything and returns nothing. The other costs nothing and occasionally returns a great deal. That is not a hard call.

-Kashish